Enchanted tales&Junks

Sunday, March 25, 2007

...my mind keep going blank all of a sudden...just like when I am writing this post...I wonder if it is possible. Maybe let me rephrase this...my emotion or I-don't-know-what feel so void,empty. It is as if I am not my usual self. It feels as if I am so blank...

Why do we have to live a lifestyle that we don't want?
Why do we want a life that we don't want to live?
Why do we have to trouble ourselves?
Why do we have to bother so much?
Why do we have to be happy when we are sad?
Why do we have to do what we are told?
Why do we have to study for a future and not build a future upon what we want?
Why do people no longer look to see who you are but what you appears to be?
Why do we have to act like we are oblivious when we know?
Why do we have to like what we do not like but forced to like?
Why do we have rights and wrongs but we can't tell?
Why do we mixed dreams with reality so we create a decaying world?
Why do people tries to please others but not understand them?
Why do people have to tell the truth when all there is, is a lie?
Why do the we view or weight money so important that we can throw away what we really want?
Why do we have to work as a profession that does not make us happy but rich?
Why do people bitch about life being bitchy when reality is the problem lies with they do not know what they actually want?

Have you ever think about why do you actually study for?
Have you ever think about why you really act as you do?
Have you ever think about how really contended you are?
Have you ever thought about how happy you really are?
Have you ever spare a thought about building a HAPPY future instead of a dream?
Have you ever spare a thought what is happiness?
Have you ever wonder if you could do something that you want but can't because you are told you can't? ( Be an artist or a writer)
Have you ever wonder why the world look down on some things and deem they a worthless profession?
Have you ever appreciated the cleaners that keep the place clean so you can walk around in peace?
Have you ever ever ever feel like you are a failure?

I feel like a failure but I am not alone.
I feel like dying but I am not.
I feel like giving up but I can't.
I felt and feel like crying and I did.
I want to change and I am trying.
I am sitting when I am told to stand.
I am waiting when I am told to run.
I am changing as the clock ticks.
No matter how it goes I will live.
No matter how hard it gets, I will run.
No matter how tought it is, I will stand.
No matter what they tell me I am me.
No matter how sad I am, I am SAD.
So when I am sad leave me be, so that I'll learn to stand on my own
I need time but time don't need me.
However still, I will give myself a break, so that I can continue and not crack.

How much question that is above you can answer? Tell me. send me an e-mail if you know me, if not tag me or ask me to your blog where you answer the questions.

How long do we have to wait till the Sun raise? We don't cause the Sun is always there.
Is the glass half-full or half-empty? It is full cause there is air to fill the space up you dolt.
These kind of questions are but foolish but we all are cause no one's a pefect butterfly.

she told the story ... 5:39 AM

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Since I am linking people, I figured that I should update. My mood is quite normal today EXPECT during the morning when I called Jovey and she was crying on the phone when I talked to her...and until now then I know what happened. She made me bloody worried cause she never tell me what happened straight away. After reading her blog then know that she fell ON a METAL paving which earned her a stich...ouch...read my profile and you will know...me no liking needles or injections...she earned both...poor thing...

Jovey = one of my best friend, kind sadist, good in art and is my granddaughter for dunnoe what reason plus is older than me not like I will admit that!

Dedicated to Jovey: Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
You look like a monkey,
And act like one too! *disclaimer I did not copy this song*

* And now the original one from me to you *

Happy birthday to you,
You're one year older,
You're more dense than ever,
congrates to you!

JOKING LA! don't be angry! this is the real one...

Happy birthday to you,
You're strike lottery,
You're be kind to me,
And share it with me!

Hope you like it...haha...

Today went for the pre rounds of the kindness cheer...was made to throw litter onto the stage...diao...and been forced to have to participate in the group photo...Our school entry rocks! Our cheer sucks but then the dancing part will made up for it! It is so damned pro...hip hop...BGSS ROCKS!

After that went bugis play maximum tune with gordon and huiyee...the freaking bastard beside me kept screaming...and saw lots of gothic clothing...=.= I like the gothic clothings...but then it is so werid to see them in Singapore...wish I can choose my own clothes too...almost all my clothes is my mother buy for me...but to me can wear can le...but now...my clothes all getting too small cause I grew taller! XD...so need new one le...going to bug her to buy me new clothes.

Later go eat delifrance...the person can't even assemble the sandwich properly! what the hell...I ordered the same thing in century square and I received the neatest sandwich I have ever seen...bet the other one at bugis didn't take home econ...no la is up to opinon...but the food still taste good...suggest you go try not bad.

Am so freaking tired...and Anna...never go online...she alive or dead also dun noe...haiz...Anna you online soon okay and update your blog!

she told the story ... 4:58 AM

Friday, March 16, 2007

I am so upset today. Today Anna came back for a few hours...just to leave us forever...damn it! But on a more postive note, I have made up my mind to pick myself up from this 'mood swing period'. So...a good news for Jovey...I will return to normal very soon... if you STOP singing the sadistic song DEATH!!!!

Hmm...nothing interesting happened today...but some interesting things happened the past few days. (like real?not sure) went to celebrate Jovey's birthday yesterday...haha I only one refuse to watch the damned movie a.k.a Haunted school. I am not that stupid to spend six dollars and fifty cents and some other sums of money on snacks and drinks to watch a movie that I didn't watch...

Before watching the movie, we went for lunch...me and Jovey ate at a Japanese resturant which some idoits keep saying is expensive...to me is a reasonable price cause we ate quite a lot...plus most of the others things are toasted which I can't afford to eat. * note the can't afford is not money...but health okay? since at the Japanese resturant the food we ordered are not fried or oliy at all...not like the stupid chicken rice which caused me a day of agony...*

When the movie ended...I asked Jovey how was the movie...she said she watch only 1/4 of the movie...as good as never watch cause the movie is one and a half hour...she says that the effect scary...and she reads the subtitles...haiz...but I loathe horror movie after watching Chunky when I was in kindergarden...stupid la...the stupid toy going around to murder people in the most gruesomes ways...and plus I can...never mind...

Haiz...I am hoping to be able to get some time for myself...but seems like the discs that I rented will go to waste...just couldnt' get to watch them. yesterday went to celebrate jovey's b'dae, today went for workshop, tomorrow go for environmental club...

Nothing to really say...but then since jovey say I never update so I update loh...oh ya jacintha...sorry link you later...now I a bit too noob...need my friend help.

she told the story ... 7:00 AM

Friday, March 9, 2007

I haven't been posting...why...cause nothing is happening...school holiday starts tomorrow. It makes no diffrences since I need to return during the holidays to catch up. I am so damned...yesterday went to sent Anna off. And the bunch of idiots sent her off in either black or white clothings, except me. They look like they are going off to a funeral.

Well...cannot blame them cause they don't know what happened...and I will not say what. I think I am getting a little more positive...at least now I scold kena sai instead of saying that dying is not a bad thing...so haha...not funny. =.=

I am getting sick of getting sick! May I be damned...(which I already am) so make that doubly damned if I get sick again...(which I am at least now am...stupid la shouldn't have eaten that fish burger...but I am so hungry... ) Haiz...my mother today also a bit sick. sianz...but got bad luck then will have good luck ma! So maybe my good luck coming later...JUST COME ALREADY...but later is better than never.

she told the story ... 4:16 AM

Thursday, March 1, 2007

Sianz...after monday never go school le...cause I am too damned! Sianz...at home sometimes don't know why will suddenly have difficulty breathing or have chest pain...siao le la...

Today kena nagging/teaching by my parents...they keep saying that I should not be stress...test fail then fail...they don't care...that I know. They also don't give a damn if I can go universtiy...haha...but then I give a damn leh...how can I not...the more I try to appear relax...the more stressful I become...damned life...cause now no certificate=no job=no money=no food=die...

I know I got seriously sick because I haven't been sleeping well+stressed+eat something that is not good but then how can I not be stress...Haiz...sianz la...don't think le the more I think the more stress I am going feel.

Haiz...what the heck...my parents...are really one of a kind in Singapore...other parents ask people go test do well...my parents ask me go test fail then heck care...don't bother...fail then fail...see...my upbringing like that...Anna so you finally see why I am like that...My father also teaches me things like...if you eat full already...then don't eat...and if the food I don't like...also never mind...don't eat...order another thing...siao la...see my upbringing like that ...see my life so diao...and then the textbook...other parents angry and nag because they don't like their child to put it under the table...my parents is angry and nag because I bring it back...cause they say the bag so heavy...I bring here bring there= siao...then I say...put under table might get lost...my father say...then never mind buy new one...siao...mind you I am not from a rich family!!!! Well...am not from a poor family either because my family is small mah...

Haiz... my parents like that so naive...haiz...I see already also headache.whatever la the most important thing now is for my health to get better...all the others doesn't matter...oh ya another primary school classmate sister died...damned...on newspaper......people from my primary school so suay this month...

she told the story ... 3:54 AM